There’s this version of being in your 20s that people love to glamorise – big nights out, pilate mornings, and spontaneous trips. But for a lot of us, especially girls quietly (or not so quietly) battling our mental health, that version feels like a distant alternate reality. Our 20s don’t look like “the best years of your life”. They look like crying in the toilets at work. Cancelling plans to preserve your last bit of sanity. Trying to explain to people, again, that you’re not just ‘tired’. You’re mentally exhausted in a way that doesn’t go away with a nap and a glass of water.

And when you do try to talk about it, you get slapped with the same tired labels.

”You’re so sensitive”.

”You’re overreacting.”

”Don’t be so negative”.

Cool. Thanks. That helps a bunch.

The truth is, being a woman in your 20s who struggles with her mental health is like constantly being stuck between two realities. One where you’re trying your best to keep up, and one where everything feels like too much. And the people around you just expect you to keep pushing, performing, smiling, showing up. Because if you don’t, then suddenly you’re ‘unstable’. Or ‘hard work’. Or ‘dramatic’.

But here’s what they don’t see:

They don’t see you dissociating in conversations because your anxiety is spiking and your brain is spinning a thousand thoughts a minute.

They don’t see you making it to work or class even though you had a panic attack that morning and your body feels like it ran a marathon just from getting out of bed.

They don’t see the way you beat yourself up for needing time off, for not being the fun friend, for missing the group plans again, for not being ‘normal’.

They don’t see the war happening behind your smile.

Instead, you just get called too much – too emotional, too deep, too sensitive, too serious, too woke if you dare mention the impact of things like trauma, sexism, or social media burnout on your wellbeing. As if acknowledging the reality of what we’re navigating makes you some sort of snowflake. Newsflash: we’re not too woke, we’re just wide awake and we’re tired as hell.

The pressure is next-level. You’re expected to be everything: successful but humble, beautiful but effortless, emotionally intelligent but never needy, strong but soft, mentally well but never ask for help too often. It’s constant performance. And if you drop the act for even a second, if you’re honest about the fact that you’re struggling, the world either tries to silence you or shove a productivity hack down your throat.

“Have you tried journaling?”

”Just go for a walk, it helps me!”

”You need to get off your phone, that’s the problem.”

Okay, cool, let me just meditate my generational trauma away. Thanks, Karen.

Sometimes you’re not looking for advice. You’re looking for understanding. You’re looking for space to just exist without having to justify every feeling or prove that you’ve earned the right to be overwhelmed. You’re not being dramatic, you’re just human. And this world? It’s heavy. Especially for young women. Especially when you’ve got past pain that still lives in your body. Especially when you feel like you’re carrying a version of yourself you’re still trying to forgive.

You might be healing, but healing isn’t always pretty. It’s not yoga and candles and journaling in cursive. Sometimes it’s crying in bed at 2am because you feel like you’re behind in life and no one really sees you. Sometimes it’s waking up with dread in your chest and still managing to smile at customers all day. Sometimes it’s setting a boundary and feeling sick with guilt, even though you know you needed to do it.

And don’t even get me started on the shame. The way we’re taught to feel bad for not being okay. Like mental illness is a personal flaw instead of something millions of us are silently dealing with. Like if you were just “stronger” or “more grateful”, you’d be fine.

But you’re not weak. You’re not broken. You’re living. And surviving in a world that demands so much from women while giving so little back. That takes strength most people will never understand.

It’s okay if you’re not thriving right now. It’s okay if you’re just getting by. If your win today was simply getting dressed. If you didn’t answer messages, didn’t post, didn’t smile. You’re allowed to take up space as you are – unfiltered, unsealed, and unashamed.

Let’s stop calling girls “too sensitive” just because they feel things deeply. That sensitivity? That emotional depth? That’s not weakness. That’s power. That’s intuition. That’s empathy. That’s you being alive and connected in a world that constantly tries to numb and detach you.

And let’s stop throwing around “woke” like it’s an insult. You’re not too woke for caring. You’re just aware. You see things clearly. You question the systems. You speak up when it’s uncomfortable. That’s brave. That’s strong. That’s something the world needs more of – not less.

So to every girl in her 20s feeling like she’s carrying too much; I see you. I get it. You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. You’re not attention seeking. You’re doing your best in a world that rarely gives you grace for it.

Keep going, even on the messy days. Especially on the messy days. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to keep showing up for yourself, even if that means pulling back from everyone else for a while.

Because healing doesn’t always look like smiling. Sometimes, it looks like surviving.

And that’s more than enough.

— Lilly x