It feels like forever since I last sat down to write anything for this blog. Not because I’ve run out of things to say (that’s never the issue), but because life has been full-on in every possible way. I knew things would get a bit hectic when I started uni again, but I clearly underestimated just how much I could take on before I hit that point where my brain starts physically aching.

Between going back to uni, taking on a college course, still working part-time, and somehow convincing myself that booking two holidays back-to-back was a good idea…it’s been a lot. Like, a lot a lot. And don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for everything I’ve got going on, but it’s been one of those seasons of life where you blink and suddenly a month has gone by and you’ve no idea how you’re still functioning.

I think that’s why I felt the need to sit down and write this. Not because I magically have the time now, because I definitely don’t, but because I need something that feels grounding. Something that lets me slow down for a minute and just process how I’ve been feeling. Writing has always been therapeutic for me, and honestly, what’s more on brand than turning my internal breakdowns into a public blog post?

So yeah. Let’s talk about it – life lately, the stress, the good bits, the exhaustion, and everything in between.

I’ve always had this thing where I can’t just do one thing at a time. I convince myself I can juggle it all – the degree, the job, the extra course, the social life, the future planning – and then I’m shocked when I hit a wall. It’s like I forget I’m an actual human being with limits.

Lately it’s felt like I’m living in organised chaos. Every day’s a mix of lectures, assignments, work shifts and caffeine, and I swear it feels like I haven’t had a proper day off since the beginning of summer. I keep waiting for that moment where things calm down, but it never really does – it just shifts into a different kind of busy. And honestly? I’ve kind of accepted that this is just my life right now. There’s always something that needs doing, somewhere I need to be, or a deadline I’ve probably forgotten about until the night before.

It’s been one of those months where I’ve had to laugh just to stay sane. Like when you’re so overwhelmed that your only options are cry or giggle and you choose giggle because you actually put mascara on for once. That’s been the general vibe.

There’s this strange guilt that comes with being constantly busy, though. On one hand, you’re proud that you’re pushing yourself and doing all these things. But on the other, you feel like you’re failing at everything because you’re spread too thin. You’re never fully caught up on work, your brain is always ten steps ahead, and no matter how many to-do lists you make, there’s always something left undone. It’s exhausting.

But then there are those little moments that remind you why you’re doing it all.

While I was away recently, I got my first exam results back for the counselling course. I was so nervous opening them, the kind of nervous where your heart’s doing backflips and you’re preparing yourself for disappointment just in case. But I passed. And it honestly felt amazing. Not in a big, dramatic way – just quietly satisfying.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the stress of everything and forget that you’re actually making progress. Passing that exam was such a reminder that the hard work is paying off, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. Sometimes we’re so focused on what’s next – the next assignment, the next shift, the next goal – that we don’t stop to acknowledge what we’ve already achieved.

That result gave me a little spark back. Like, okay, maybe I can do this. Maybe I’m not failing as hard as my tired brain keeps telling me I am.

The only reason I’m still semi-functional right now is because I’ve basically handed my life over to my calendar. It’s dramatic, but true. If something isn’t in there, it’s not happening. I’ve stopped pretending I can remember things off the top of my head because I absolutely cannot.

I’ve got everything colour-coded like I’m running some sort of chaotic corporation. Uni stuff in burgundy, work shifts in pink, and social plans in yellow…the few that survive the scheduling chaos anyway.

There’s something weirdly comforting about seeing your life laid out in little digital blocks. It makes me feel like I’ve got some sense of control, even when everything else feels messy. Organisation has become my coping mechanism, which honestly feels like growth.

One thing I’ve been really trying to work on is being more present. I wouldn’t say I’ve mastered it, I still spend more time on my phone than I’d like to admit, but I’ve made progress. I’ve stopped doom scrolling on social media 24/7. No more endless Insta reels or falling down rabbit holes of comparing my life to people I don’t even know.

Now when I scroll, it’s usually TikTok at night before I sleep and that’s a battle I’m not ready to fight yet. But I’m trying to be more aware of when I’m doing it, and that alone feels like a start.

The thing is, I don’t want to live my life constantly distracted. I don’t want to be so caught up in the next thing that I forget to actually experience what’s happening right now. There’s something peaceful about being able to just exist without constantly needing to document or analyse it.

I’ve been making small changes like leaving my phone on the other side of my room while I study, walking home from uni without my music, actually being in the moment instead of mentally writing my next blog post about it. It sounds small, but it’s made such a difference.

The biggest improvement I’ve made recently though? Fixing my sleep schedule. I cannot stress enough how life-changing it’s been. I used to stay up until stupid o’clock every night, convincing myself that the world would end if I didn’t finish one more thing on my to-do list. But all that did was make me miserable.

Now I actually sleep properly. I wake up earlier, I have more energy, and my brain doesn’t feel like it’s been fried in a microwave. And I do still occasionally become attached to my bed, my boyfriend could definitely attest to that as he has to drag me out of it some days, but it’s mad how much difference sleep makes when you’ve been running on fumes for so long. I used to wear exhaustion like a badge of honour, like being busy automatically meant I was being productive. But it doesn’t. You can be exhausted and still feel like you’ve achieved nothing, and that’s honestly the worst combo.

Fixing my sleep has helped me realise how important it is to actually rest, not just physically but mentally. I’m still learning how to slow down without feeling guilty about it. It’s a work in progress.

I don’t think I’d be managing half as well as I am without the people around me. My support system has been everything. From my boyfriend who listens to me rant about how tired I am (all the time), to family who remind me to actually eat, to my friends who just quietly check in – it means more than I can say.

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to retreat into yourself and think you have to handle it all alone. But having people around you who genuinely care, who understand, who see you at your worst and still stick around? That’s priceless.

It makes me realise how much we underestimate the power of having good people in our corner. You don’t need loads of them, just the right ones. The ones who don’t make you feel guilty for struggling, who remind you that you’re doing better than you think you are.

The biggest lesson I’ve been trying to learn recently is that I can’t do everything and that’s okay. I’ve always had this habit of taking on too much, like I’m scared of falling behind. But the truth is, no one’s keeping score. There’s no prize for who burns out first.

It’s okay to pause. It’s okay to take a day off. It’s okay to not have everything figured out right now. I’m trying to remind myself of that more often. Life doesn’t need to be lived at full speed all the time. Sometimes slowing down is the most productive thing you can do.

I still have days where I feel completely drained – where everything feels like too much and I just want to crawl into bed and not think about deadlines or responsibilities. But I’m learning to stop seeing those days as failures. They’re just part of being human. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and I’ve been running on empty for far too long.

I’m trying to fill my cup again. Slowly. Properly.

Writing this has reminded me how much I’ve missed doing it. It’s like a reset button. A way to make sense of everything that’s been sitting in my head, building up quietly until it starts spilling over. Sometimes you don’t realise how much you’ve been holding in until you start to let it out.

Life has been chaotic, yes, but it’s also been full of growth. I can feel myself changing, even if it’s in small and unnoticeable ways. I’m becoming more aware of what I need, more protective of my time, and more honest about when I’m not okay. That’s something I wouldn’t have been able to do a year ago.

There’s still so much I’m figuring out – balance, routine, peace, boundaries – but I’m proud of how far I’ve come. Even when I feel like I’m barely keeping up, I’m still moving forward.

So, if you’ve been feeling like you’re constantly juggling too much, or like you’re running on empty…I get it. It’s hard. But you’re doing better than you think you are.

I might be tired, stressed, and slightly delusional half the time, but I’m still here. Still trying. Still learning. And for now, that’s enough.

— Lilly x