To say that I’m happy to see the end of 2025 would be an understatement. It was one of my toughest years yet. I learned some big lessons, created some strong boundaries, lost a few relationships with people who were once close to me, failed, fell down but at the end of the day, I always picked myself back up.

And that’s the silver lining I’m choosing to focus on as I head into the new year. I could easily sit and fester about the shit show that was my life in 2025 – and occasionally, I probably still will, because I’m human and I have emotions – but I’m not going to let it become my main focus for 2026. Not when I could choose to view it differently.

Because although all of those things happened, I also tried new things, stood up for myself, grew a backbone, chose to follow my dream, and focused on myself in a way I never really had before. And honestly, I’m prouder of myself than I like to admit. It wasn’t easy by any means, and there were times I genuinely didn’t think I’d make it through to the other side but I did.

And 2026 is going to be different. I’m going to be more focused, more driven, more communicative, more honest with my writing, and more self-focused. I just know I’m going to have a great year – I mean, anything would be better than the last one.

I’ve struggled to be online a lot this holiday season. Partly because I’ve become a bigger bookworm than ever, but also because it’s hard to sit back and watch people reminisce on a year full of highs, achievements and happiness and not feel the same way about your own.

And that’s not to say I’m not happy for these people because I really am. But I can also be sad for myself at the same time. Those two feelings can exist together, even if it’s uncomfortable. Maybe some people will read this and think I’m being selfish or acting jealous, but no one apart from me knows how often I felt knocked down, how heavy some days were, or how close I felt to falling apart while still having to be strong for everyone else around me.

So yeah, it was tough. And it’s even tougher being online, seeing everyone enjoying themselves and wishing it could be you. That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy the holiday season – emotionally, it maybe wasn’t my best, but I spent time with my family and that’s all I really needed. New Year is different though. That time of year is full of people sharing everything they did and everything they accomplished, and it stings when you realise you can’t quite relate.

I’ve noticed I have a pattern of distancing myself from social media when I’m having a rough time, because I genuinely struggle to see others doing or feeling things I wish I could. So this year, I’m taking a step back from social media. Not in a dramatic way, I literally privated my account and removed a bunch of followers so it’s not like anyone’s going to notice.

But I want my online presence to feel more controlled and safer for me. I’ll still post when I go to cool places or do cool things, but I’ll be doing it for myself – not to gloat or scream from the rooftops, “look at me, my life’s so great,” because the truth is, it isn’t always. I’m done doomscrolling, done analysing everyone else’s lives, done comparing my life to everyone else’s, and done feeling shit about myself at 3am because of it.

Reading has helped more than I expected. Growing up, I was always that kid with her nose stuck in a book, and somewhere along the way my books were replaced by my phone. Although I’d still pick one up every now and then, it was nothing compared to how much I used to read, and I want to get back to being known as that girl. 

Reading helps me separate from reality for a while. I get to sit cosy with my book and lose myself in whatever world I’m invested in at the time. I’m already on my fourth book this year, and honestly, I feel better within myself because of it.

I don’t spend my days constantly overthinking life anymore: what I need to do, what everyone else is doing, what I should be doing differently. Now, I wake up, make my bed, get myself sorted for the day, write out my tasks, complete them, and then settle down with my book and switch my brain off.

Some days, when I have nothing I need to do or if I genuinely just don’t have the energy, I let myself laze about and read all day. Past me would’ve hated herself for that. New me understands that my brain and my body both need rest sometimes, and that there’s no harm in spending a day doing whatever helps you relax. Because when the next day comes and you do need to be productive, you’re recharged and better equipped to face it.

So yeah, 2026 is already looking up. I’m reading more, taking better care of myself, focusing on my career, investing in the relationships I have, and enrolling on my Level 3 counselling course. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m exactly where I need to be.

There will still be tough moments. Days where I feel like giving up. But the most important thing to remember is that I’ve been through everything I’ve been through and I survived it. So I know I can survive whatever else is headed my way.

I’m ready to face this year head on, and I’m already excited for the personal growth waiting for me.

— Lilly x